This Morning

I woke up this morning in a bed that wasn't mine.  I was facing the window.  The blinds were open so the sun was shining right in my eyes.  I could feel skin on my back and could hear breathing, it was also not mine.  I looked over my shoulder, I saw her.  I didn't know who she was.  I got up and put my clothes on, everything but my underwear, I seemed to have misplaced them.  I went into the bathroom, washed my face, used her toothbrush, then left.

My watch told me it was 5:43 a.m. but it had been broke since last summer.  I looked across the street and saw line of pay phones.  I didn't see my car and my cellphone was in my car the last time I checked, so I began to walk over to the pay phones to call for a ride.  I put two quarters, it began ringing.

"Hello?"

"Lyell."

"What?"

"I need a ride, I don't know where I am."

"Well, where are you?"

"I'm at a phone booth next to a Burger King on North Clark."

"Ok, wait there."

I waited there for fifteen minutes, sitting on a dirty park bench with no underwear and only my thin work pants between us to block it from touching my skin.  I got tired of waiting, so I picked up the phone again, I put two quarters in, it began ringing.

"Yea?"

"I need a ride, I'm on North Clark by Burger King sitting on a dirty park bench with no underwear."

"Sorry man, I'm outta town, went to the show up in Aurora."

I hung up and started walking down the sidewalk hoping I would see something familiar.

I passed a woman walking her dog.  The beast lunged at me and ripped my pants off.  I was now only wearing a shirt and shoes.  Just as this happened, a police officer drove by and saw me, naked on the sidewalk.  I already had a warrant out for me for grand theft auto, and I couldn't be pinned with indecent exposure too, so I ran.  My junk swung around like a swing at the park in the summer.  I wished now more then ever that I was wearing a jock strap.  At the corner I met Lyell, jumped in the back of his truck and he sped all the way back to our house.