Broken Lantern

Confusion isn't the right word, because it's so much more then that. Life changes and things happen that make my mind crash and burn over and over agin until all thats left is a pile of ash sitting on the ground, blowing around in the wind, all over everybody's yards, porches, cars, driveways... My body is weak to this mess, it doesn't treat me the way it used to, back when I thought I had my whole life in order, back when I could still look into my future and see what was to come. Where did it all go? I want to fish out my future, and hold onto it, and make sure nothing happens to where I loose it again, or make it fuzzy. Fear isn't the right word, because it's so much more then that.